How He Loves Us

Hmm. God loves us a lot. A LOT. It's crazy. 

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

But not everybody knows that. Not everybody drives around in their car listening to worship songs and looks down and realizes that every square inch of their body is covered...COVERED in goosebumps and feels like they are being held tightly to God's chest being told how much they mean to Him. The kids we were with in Russia might know that. But they might not. That's one of the hardest parts about being away from them now. Sure, some good discussions happened with the teens. Yes, we showed as much love as we humanly could to the kids and everyone we came into contact with. 


But that's just it. It was human love. We are human. We don't agape people. Only God can do that. Only our big, loving, just, merciful, gracious, beautiful, caring Father can love someone so much that they tremble in fear and reverence. 


I miss Russia. I miss knowing that God was present and feeling Him in our activities and our team time. I know God didn't stay in Russia and only in Russia. I know that He's everywhere and that He's in my life still. I know that. I'm still relying on Him. I'm still loving Him. But I can't help but fear that because I no longer "need" to rely on Him for the success of our VBS or the movement of my bowels or sunshine, that I'll forget how much I NEED Him. 


This is what Russia taught me: God is big. He can handle it. He can take it when I yell at Him in utter frustration and rage. He can handle all the hurt in the world. He can watch children break because of their parents actions and not fall apart at the sight of it. He can take people turning their backs on Him and rejecting Him daily. 


But
I 
can't.


I am human. 
I am flawed.
I am here.
They are there.
I am small.
I am human.

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. 2 Corinthians 4:7-10

But see, Russia taught me that it doesn't matter that I'm only human, flawed and small. It doesn't matter that I can't be with everyone that hurts. I can't take all of the problems in the world away. But I can do what God asks of me. I can be filled with Him and be empowered by Him to do all the things He wants me to do. For Him. And for His children. God doesn't ask us to do anything that does not better ourselves or others. God is about change through human connection and love and teaching men to fish. 


I am human
powered by God
ready to serve
ready to listen
ready to learn
ready to love.